The Compassionate Friends
Hope, Health, Healing after the Death of a Child|
"No matter their age ... No matter the cause"
We came looking, hoping to make sense of a tragedy. We came seeking comfort. We came wondering if anyone really survives the death of a child. We came because the abyss seemed unfathomable. We stay because:
Since my daughter died, this is the only place I feel normal.
For two weeks I was surrounded by family and friends. When they disappeared returning to their regular routines, I was lost in isolation. Now I have a place to be safely insane.
The TCF meeting is the only place where others ask my son s name and encourage me to show his picture. It is such a relief to be whole for a while.
To other people our daughter was just a fetus ; to us she was a child our child. Here she is our beloved, honored daughter.
I cried and cried my first few meetings; I cried when I crossed the threshold into the meeting room. I cried when I shared the story of Jim s death. I still do. Nobody blinks they just hand me more tissues.
I ve been told that certain family members do not want to hear me tell the death story one more time. But I need to tell it still; I don t know why. Now I have a place where it is safe to tell this story until I m done telling it.
After four years, I have watched myself make various transitions through the grieving process. I have witnesses that affirm my progress. I have those whose children died before Jimmy who give me hope as I observe their progress.